the film itself is pretty good, pretty much wat i expected, though i thought it might haf been a little overrated, but the music is just fantastic. seriously where do they find this kind of music these days? the whole soundtrack’s almost napoleon dynamite-ish
shit, whats the count
18 ) mic
my eyes nearly popped out when i first saw it.
attached.
i tink im still in shock.
but somehow, the first and still overwhelming feeling was one of relief. the urge to scream
I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE is overpowering, tats the only part i don’t get.
yet suddenly so many things make sense now.
the constant egging of
“u can sleep with other girls but make sure u wear condom ok”
“u got many other girls”
“u very busy”
and the likes : reflecting self
“u’re the only one to make me feel like this”
“i’ve never met anyone like you in my life”
and the likes : paradoxical communal exclusivity
“im not pushing you for a decision”
“i just want to know ur answer”
and the likes : simple mcq
while i wud like to believe there were some elements of truth at least
i have to say, well played.
just because
damn, girl, u almost had me (fooled).
u were everything i hoped for and more in more ways than not
and i think u cud possibly set the benchmark for some time to come.
i thank you for one hell of an experience. 
D-DAY.
but instead of heroic allied troops storming the normandy beaches
this is rather a case of the proverb “shit hits the fan”.
hopefully the situation will have been resolved one way or another.
really crossing my fingers, toes, among other body parts for this one
amazing how u can make a song sound so smooth with just a simple beat and two guys rapping without none of that digitisation and studio technology reliance that modern musicians cant live without. theres none of that reckless debauchery, bling bling neither.
one of my favourite songs. by snoop dogg and dr dre.
nothing much has been on the agenda these past few days, after a crazy week of nonstop activities.
thought i’d enjoy a few days of peace to myself, and i was, at least i thought i was enjoying it, but someone made me realize how much of a morose funk i’ve allowed myself to sink into these past few days.
its weird. the feeling im experiencing now is uncannily reminiscent of the ‘roller coaster of feelings’ i went through over and over again in jc. the image of myself sitting at the busstop alone musing, reflecting, trying to understand what was happening appears whenever this phrase crosses my mind.
many a time, after a good outing, i’d find myself emotionally spent the next day, like a wringed sponge dry, devoid of any meaning content whatsoever, (though one may argue there wasnt anything meaningful in the first place to be stripped of) which led me to conclude at that time i was the type who needed alot of downtime, time to myself.
ok, veering off point again, but long story short, constant self reflection of “is this what i should be doing with my life” eventually became “live a life of no regrets”, “fuck it”, and probably reckless and irresponsible abuse of the life motto of some “live life for the moment”
funny how i can easily write an essay of 2500 words overnight
but when it comes to writing a blog post of anything more than a few sentences i can never bring myself to finish it
goddamn, why wasnt any of my english teachers half the woman she is??
no one makes “wersion” sounds sexier
a little intimation of it.
just that slightest hint of regret seems to have seeped in about missing the flight.
must have been a few years since i watched an episode of whose line is it anyway
its still funny as shit
ryan’s on the microphone doing the sound effects for colin whos a heart surgeon on this one
those who arrive blazing in never last.
the rate shes going, its like nuclear thermal fusion gone haywire.
prove me wrong for once please.
classy.
oozing power yet behaves nothing like the high and mighty
flirty yet never close to crossing into the realm of sleaze
mature yet with a tinge of girlishness
strong yet not afraid to show just that slightest hint of vulnerability
beautiful yet seemingly so unaware of it
oh jj
u best watch urself
or u might just be swept away
aren’t we all just so lucky to be part of a culture where you can freely express yourself in artistic arrays of expletives?
and that the law protects us so well eg in the video ; being told to fuck off is now grounds for a civil assault case! amazing! i never knew that!
i love this motherfucking country where lovable characters like chee soon juan can come up to you in the nus canteen and talk cock with u while u eat your yong tau foo
u are an obsession.
one that i could not take my eyes off.
one that i will always think back with what ifs
u oozed class
beauty
and u knew it
u may have disappeared from sight
when u got off at the bus stop
but not from my mind
i’ve been sick as shit since the weekend,
1)recurring high fever - sweat like fuck everytime i sleep, feel even worse when i wake up, when im awake i wish i was sleeping when im sleeping i wish i was awake
2)fucking bad flu - finished one toilet roll in one night, and im the most conservative of users when it comes to toilet roll usage, never more than one piece at a time, and each piece is fully utilized to the max! now the insides of my nose are so sore just touching them
the worst thing was i had planned to do 2 essays over the weekend, both were due on monday n i hadnt done shit. its pretty hard to find a more fucked up feeling than being sick as a dog and having to force urself to churn out an essay, let alone two.
been to the doctor twice in the past 2 days, got tested for dengue, turned out it wasnt, but
doctor : “maybe a bacterial infection, eh, but the only medicine for it is the one you’re allergic to, how ah?”
nurse : “wah, ur veins so big, should be no problem la” —> followed by the first time in my life a nurse or medic cldnt get blood out of my vein with the first try
took my weight again under the instructions of the nurse, turns out its stil 68kg. so seriously, how the fuck am i stil getting skinnier (as EVERY MOTHER SON in the world loves to remind me) and stil maintaining the same weight since fucking jc? bbc shud do a fucking documentary on me
must make sure i eat more this period. always seem to lose lots of mass when im sick for prolong periods.
last but not least, the actual reason i came to blog, before i got carried away with all the pussy whining,
it is still AMAZINGLY soothing to listen to incubus after all these years when u’re feeling like crap.
really amazing.
looking at my own, and my friends’ blogs, i realized our blogs all seem to be plagued by that morose (doesnt really fit here but its my favourite word at the moment), unhappy, unfulfilled, dissatisfaction with life in general. to the point whereby even when the posts seem to be about happy thoughts or happenings there still appears to be a tinge of sadness underlying them.
why is that so?
do we treat our blogs only as outlets to release feelings of frustration, basically negativity? like people only take photos of themselves in happy occasions and not while they’re sad? i’ve never seen a photographer hired for a funeral as of yet
or is it that the blog, as our last surviving realm of privacy, is the only place where we can feel free to discuss our everyday struggles with the inner demons that dwell within us?
on a related or unrelated note -
my doctor : “so jj, what are the things that have made you truly excited in your 24 years of life?”
must all good things come to an end?
u were the last part of my life i wanted the above phrase to have any say on.
but it seems with each day that passes
the shadow of the end looms closer
its silhouette grows bolder
all the naysayers are just waiting to pop out of the fucking cake
but instead of ’SURPRISE’
i read their lips
WE TOLD YOU SO
and hey, the parody’s pretty good too.
relevant and in your face. even nickelback likes it!
britney and paris hilton fans might disagree though.
normally i fucking hate nickelback but this is some nice shit.
and not just cos chuck liddell’s inside.
ADDICTIVE!
if you choose.
if you leave everything behind one day.
if you were to abandon everything, everyone you knew.
your gadgets, your money, your luxuries, your possessions, your society.
your parents, family, friends, loved ones.
if you were to be so sick of this……this thing that is called ‘life’
life as we know it.
would you be a coward?
would you be a coward because you ran away?
because you choose not to live this ‘life’?
who decided this ‘life’ and how it should be led?
if you feel such a massive disjuncture between self and the social self, your obligations to society, and those around you, would it then be an act of cowardice to carry living this ‘life’?
if the meaning of ‘life’, our purpose is ‘life’, has been defined all along by others, would it be as grave an act to leave the ‘life’ you know in order to search for its true meaning?
what choice does one have, when the luxury of this choice is but an illusion
